Irreconcilable Differences

The wife likes firs as Xmas trees. I derisively refer to them as "pipe-cleaner trees."
I like pines as Xmas trees. The wife derisively refers to them as "shaved-cone trees."

We're both accurate. And immovable. Maybe we can alternate.
It could be worse - if the wife were a smooth-peanut-butter-eater, there would be real problems.

What I'm reading: Songs of the Dying Earth