Football terms in our house

[madbaker]

Super Bowl: a food dish that the cat doesn’t knock over.

Defensive play: making the cat run around before going to bed, so that hopefully we can get some sleep.

Artificial turf: cat grass.

Quarterback: change found in the futon.

Passing yards: the space needed to avoid the cat’s breaking wind.

Tight end formation: the butt-wiggle made just before the cat pounces.

...Can you tell that we're not big football fans? Other suggestions gleefully accepted.

What I’m reading: Patricia McKillip, Riddle of Stars trilogy

Comments

[finickynarcane.livejournal.com]

Press Box Where you keep your iron.

Half Time The difference between the amount of time you think you have left to get ready and the amount of time your significant other thinks there is.

Button Hook Something our forebears used to hook the buttons on their shoes. (Okay, that was cheating. Even though it is a football play, it really was the device I claim it to be.)

[talonvaki.livejournal.com]

Just off the top of my head...

Touchdown: What happens when the pillowcase rips.

Place Kicker: Really enthusiastic scratching post action.

Flag: That thing we pledge allegience to.

Cheerleader: Pouring the booze into the glass and lifting it in salute before saying "cheers!" and downing it.

Tail Back: That inverted-U, usually accompanied by fur standing on end and hissing.

Field Goal: What the cat has in mind when he tries to get outside.

Backfield in Motion: See "Tight End Formation."

[fionnbharro.livejournal.com]

Roughing the Kicker When a cat licks your toes

Encroachment When said cat decides to sit on your chest while you're sleeping

Flea-Flicker When a forward pass to an eligible reciever is followed in the same play by a lateral pass from the reciever to another eligible reciever so long as the play has not ended or a flag thrown. The Quarterback is considered an eligible reciever for purposes of being the recipient of the second pass, but may only run or hand-off the ball; the ball may not be passed a third time. Or, when fleas are picked off the cat and thrown away.

[scendan.livejournal.com]

LOVE IT!!!

[madbaker.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I missed that one, he says, cleaning the water from the keyboard.