madbaker | My name is madbaker, and I'm an addict.

It's past time to admit this. I've been addicted for more than twenty years.
I've kind of known this for some time, but it really hit home yesterday when I didn't have my usual stash. This is not normally a "problem" - I have stashes in at least eight different places around the house so that I'm never without.

If you answer "yes" to more than four of these, you have a problem.

Have you ever decided to stop for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Yes.

Do you wish people would mind their own business -- stop telling you what to do?
Not really. My life, my habits.

Have you ever switched from one kind to another in the hope that this would moderate your dependence?
Yes, but never for very long. Other kinds just don't have the same hit.

Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Yes. I have a stash beside the bed for use just before going to sleep and right after getting up.

Do you envy people who can use without getting into trouble?
Not really.

Have you had problems connected with this during the past year?
I've kept more around the house in the past year, so a qualified yes. My use goes up with stress, and the last nine months have certainly been stressful.

Has your use caused trouble at home?
No, although the wife occasionally makes sarcastic remarks about my habit.

Do you ever try to get "extra" because you do not get enough?
I stockpile, so a qualified yes.

Do you tell yourself you can stop any time you want to, even though you keep being affected when you don't mean to?
No.

Have you missed days of work or school because of your habit?
No.

Do you have "blackouts"?
No.

Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not use?
No.